Running at Midnight
by FindingSide
Summary: Lexa navigates the ups and downs, ins and outs of love with a few mistakes along the way. Femslash. GP Lexa. Minor Clexa. Lexaven Endgame. Commander Mechanic.


**This has been swirling around in my head for a while and wouldn't leave me alone. It's been a long time since I've posted anything. This isnt beta'd so if you find any mistakes let me know so I can fix them. I hope whoever finds this likes it. **

**This is a GP Lexa story so if that's not your thing stop right here. **

**FindingSide~**

* * *

Lexa felt the tiny hairs on the back of her neck start to prickle and stand when she heard the gruff male voice in his barely hushed yet clearly berating tone. This had become an increasingly regular occurrence and she wasn't sure how much longer she could stay quiet.

The pair had been behind a closed door, he'd made sure to get in a few jabs about how nobody else would want the girl with the lame leg. About how she should be more grateful that he was still around.

Every time she heard him say this to the girl, Lexa wanted to physically pick him up and throw him out the window of her fourth floor apartment. He got to treat her like shit behind closed doors where he thought nobody could see or hear.

Lexa did. Lexa saw it and heard it. But it wasn't her place. Wasn't for her to interfere.

That was what she was told. That Raven was a big girl. That Raven could handle her own problems. If it was that bad, _Raven_ wouldn't _still_ be with him.

But it was.. _and she was.._

Lexa looked across the room to where her girlfriend was talking with a few of their friends. She had on her uniform, light purple scrubs, ready for her overnight shift at the hospital that started soon. Along with a pair of Crocs that Octavia was giving her shit about.

They were all laughing and having a good time while she was breaking a little bit more on the inside. Watching her girlfriend of 2 plus years become more of a stranger as the days and weeks passed. Listening as her friend barely defended herself, the only part she heard clearly was Raven _suggesting_ Finn was just overreacting and should _maybe_ leave if he couldn't control himself.

No sooner had Lexa moved away from the door, stepping back to the small breakfast bar in the even smaller kitchen to pour herself another drink when it swung open and then shut again. Finn caught sight of Lexa, let out a huff of annoyance then left without a word to anyone.

There was no love loss there. It had become a mutual dislike. Their friendship ending the day of the accident. He knew she saw how he treated Raven. It had made him more cautious in public and even more vicious in private.

Less than 30 seconds later the brunette had knocked back the drink she'd just dumped into her cup, scanned the room to find Clarke still talking and laughing with the group and was moving into the bedroom quietly but with enough noise as to not startle the other girl.

"He's wrong.." She said so softly, almost shocking her own self with the words she'd always held back but couldn't anymore.

Raven tried to wipe away the tears that threatened to spill from her dark chocolate colored eyes before Lexa could see them but a wad of tissue was placed in her hand before she could finish.

"There's no line of people beating down my door." Raven bit out a little harsher then she'd meant to. " Who the hell wants to be with the lame legged gimp chick, huh?"

Lexa just stood there in a sort of stunned silence. Her insides we churning. Her palms were suddenly hot and sweaty. Her eyes were wide and darting between Raven's lips and pained eyes.

"Exactly!" The shorter of the two growled as she threw the clump of tissues into the corner, missing the small can. "Nobody."

"Somebody-" Lexa had begun to say when she heard her own name being called from the living room.

" Lex, babe?" Clarke popped her head into the bedroom on her way to the bathroom. "Shift starts soon, I'm gonna pee. Still walking me over?"

" Yeah, -yes. Of course.." Lexa replied a second before her girlfriend clicked the bathroom door shut.

"I'm fine, okay? There's nothing to worry about. He's just stressed at work." They both knew that was a lie.

Lexa had closed the distance between them, ignoring Raven's weak plea. She brought a shaky hand up, palm pressed gently to the naturally sun kissed skin. Her thumb wiping away the last tear. "I wish you could see, or that I could.. _show_ you."

Raven's breath hitched, her eyebrows furrowing. There was a split second that she'd thought Lexa was leaning in with parted lips.

They had been friends the longest out of their group and while Raven was definitely bi, she'd been with Finn off and on for the past few years. There were a few kisses and gropes while playing truth or dare back when they were in high school, that one time Raven gave her a handy after her disastrous breakup with Costia the week before their freshman year at Polis U, but that was the extent of it. They had never hooked up and until that moment she'd never even questioned why.

Lexa's hand dropped away the second she heard the flushing toilet. She blinked away whatever had just happened, the churning in the pit of her stomach had calmed only to be replaced by a pounding in her chest. "He.. he doesn't deserve you."

Clarke finished up in the bathroom, stepped back out stopping next to the opened bedroom door leaning against the frame. Raven was still just standing next to her bed, too many thoughts swirling through her head. Lexa had already walked out and was saying her goodbyes to Monty and Harper.

"I'll call you when I get off shift in the morning, we'll grab breakfast?"

"What-" Raven blinked away her confusion as she turned to face the blonde, moving towards her and back out into the living room area. "I have an earlier meeting before class, maybe a late lunch?"

"I'm going in a few hours early tomorrow to cover for someone, late lunch works." Clarke slipped an arm around Raven for a quick hug. "Diner on Main at like 3:30? Lexa could probably meet us too when she gets off."

Raven's head snapped to the side when the blonde mentioned her girlfriend. She didn't know _what_ had just happened in her bedroom, but something _did_ happen.

Something had.. _shifted.._

"I'll text you, okay? I'll talk to Finn."

"Might be a good idea to keep those two separated for a while." Clarke said with a slight shrug. " Either way, let me know?"

Brown eyes drifted from Clarke over to where Lexa had been waiting. Jacket on and hood up. Eyes looking everywhere but at her. "Yeah, I will."

* * *

The couple had been walking for about 5 minutes when the silence, although comfortable, was broken between them. Clarke tugged their intertwined hands up to her lips, placing a quick kiss along her knuckles."If you think it's the right thing to do, to say something about him.. "

Lexa's mouth went dry. Her stomach started to churn, again. She knew what she was feeling was more than friendship for Raven. And she loved Clarke. But here she was, not even twenty minutes prior she had been looking into chocolate eyes and wishing she could.. _she could what?_

Feeling the hesitation, Clarke slowed then stopped. "I shouldn't have discouraged you from saying anything. Everyone sees it. None of us really want to be around him but if _she_ doesn't see it.. "

"How can Raven not see that she deserves so much better than him?" Lexa tried to step away, her emotions running a little too high at just the thought of how Finn spoke to Raven.

Clarke chewed at her bottom lip, the outburst leaving her feeling a bit concerned but she couldn't pinpoint why. "I'm meeting up with her tomorrow. Before I head in to cover Niylah's shift. I can-"

"No!" Lexa cut her off before he could finish. "She already knows or at least she should know that I can't stand him..what he _did_ to her.. Let's drop this right now, you're going to be late."

They fell back in step, Clarke holding- not just holding, more like gripping- tight to the hand in hers.

"Did something happen?"

Lexa felt like she was going to vomit.

" What do you mean happen? Nothing happened.."

As the building came into view Lexa felt a sigh of relief. She needed this conversation to end and that made her feel sick all over again.

They stopped at the hospital entrance, Clarke again turning to face the taller girl. She leaned in kissing Lexa. Soft at first then a little more insistent. It had been months since the couple had been intimate, barely sharing more than the occasional kiss in what felt like weeks.

Lexa knew their relationship was all but dead but she still missed this. Even with the confusion from earlier, she still loved Clarke.

_In love_ was a different story.

"I'll message you when I get home."

"Don't forget this time." Their lips met once more before Clarke turned and headed through the doors. There was no spark. They both felt it, or the lack of it.

But for Lexa it was home. It was where the car stopped after a long road trip. It was comfortable.. until it wasn't anymore.

An hour later Lexa was standing under a scalding hot stream of water, the last bit of conditioner rinsing from her hair. She let out a long heavy exhale, the last few hours still playing through her mind in a loop.

She thought of Clarke and the kiss they shared before they parted. She thought of Raven and the soft skin of her cheek under her thumb. Lexa switched the temperature to ice cold then off, grunting as it trickled down between her legs making her mostly soft member twitch.

Some time later Lexa was laid out across the bed she shared with her girlfriend, her hand inside the opening of her boxers stroking her length. It had been 3 months since there had been any form of sexual contact between them and she was starting to wonder if balls actually did turn blue.

A few minutes of massaging, tugging and outright yanking on her length and she still wasn't anywhere closer to the release she was sure she needed in order to not explode. The play on words notwithstanding.

With her phone in her free hand, she went to her trusty folder of spank bank materials. Mostly pics of Clarke in various stages of undress. Another ten or so minutes had passed and the only thing she was sure of was growling at your penis would not help you cum.

In the back of her mind she knew what would help push her up and over the edge. A few times over the last couple weeks the image crossed her mind, causing her to spill over.

Raven. The previous summer. Hair in her trademark high and tight yet messy ponytail. Red bikini top. Denim short shorts unbuttoned but sitting low on perfectly tanned hips. This particular image was burned into her brain.

She knew how wrong it was. How fucked up it was. At first she just rationalized that Raven was hot. That she had eyes and it wasn't like she hadn't acknowledged this fact in gest and earnest since they'd met back in highschool.

Before she could put a halt to her thoughts and give up on her need for release, it hit her. Her eyes were screwed shut and her body tensed then exploded. The orgasm took over and for that brief moment she was hazy and blissed out.

Lexa cleaned herself up, clicked the lights off and slipped back into bed. She tossed and turned in the dark for a while, the tension still there just under the surface. _What was she going to do about her fading relationship_, swirled through her mind. _What was she going to do about the way her body reacted every time she was near Raven_, raced through her head on an endless track.

Annoyed that she couldn't shut her mind off long enough to fall asleep, Lexa climbed back out of bed. She pulled on a pair of compression shorts and looser fitting joggers. Swapped out her plain white tshirt for a sports bra and zipper jacket. Next she slipped her shoes on, tied them tight, grabbed her earbuds and keys then left the apartment.

Running was Lexa's way of clearing her mind. She was usually able to set out on one of her favorite paths around their city and by the time she made it back home she'd be able to think more clearly or solve whatever issues she was dealing with.

No such luck tonight.

Clarke and Raven. Raven and Clarke.

When Lexa finally stopped running she found herself outside the apartment building she was trying to run away from. She jabbed in the key code, only knowing it because half of her friends lived in the complex. Her heart rate was still racing from her run, breaths still heavy.

The brunette moved out of the elevator, down the hall to the familiar door. Knocking lightly at first, Lexa hadn't taken any notice of the time. She knew it was late but _how_ late hadn't registered.

Raven was awake laid out on the couch, brace off and hair still wet from her shower. She was the night owl of the group but could be up and ready to go at the crack of dawn of she absolutely had to. The knock startled her enough to make her drop her phone.

With a grumble from her phone smashed face and grunt for the effort it took to stand, Raven figured it was Finn and he most likely left his key at home. Wouldn't have been the first time. Just to be sure she looked through the peephole, the person standing there moved from one foot to the other. Glanced right then left.

Late nights and crashing at each other's place was commonplace. Dropping by unannounced was more normal than not. Raven slide the chain off, turned the lock, took a deep breath to steady the sudden nervous energy and opened her door.

"Lexa, what's wron-"

" Did I wake you? I'm sorry it's really late I didn't realize.." Lexa said, the words sort of dying on her tongue once she took notice of the sight standing before her. The lighting was pretty dim with only a flicker from the TV.

Lexa's eyes burned a trail all the way from slightly damp wild dark brown locked to a tight tank that hugged Raven in all the perfect places. Further down to a pair of sleep shirts that showed off tanned thighs.

"Are you okay? Lexa?! What the hell, it's after 1am.." Raven grabbed the taller girls wrist to pull inside so they weren't just standing there in the open doorway. "Did something happen with Clarke?"

Lexa allowed herself to be pulled inside and the door shut behind her. It felt like a jolt of lightening when Raven touched her which only made her feel even more frozen. Hearing Clarke's name finally broke her out of her stupor.

"I can't stop thinking about-." Lexa's voice was low, soft. Shakey yet firm. _What was she saying? _"Why can't you see? You deserve so much better.."

At no point was Raven ever blind to Lexa's good looks. She'd be a liar if she said she'd never been physically attracted to the green eyed girl. There was no way she could deny her body was screaming from their close proximity or that her pulse wasn't racing. Instead of her usual bite of sarcasm or crude humor Raven just stood there, eyes bouncing from lips to eyes to the swell of Lexa's chest as she took heavy breaths.

"S-see.. see what?" Raven croaked out.

Lexa couldn't be sure who moved but she did know she didn't want to pull away once they were toe to toe. The skin on her wrist where Raven was still holding onto felt like it was in fire. Her mouth was dry. Her pulse so loud she was positive it could be heard.

"Even if I wasn't with him.." Raven felt the light boop of Lexa's nose against hers. She felt the hot breath on her lips as she finished. "You're with-"

" I know."

" -Clarke."

" I _know.."_

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